feeling guilty and relaxing at the same time!

i have spent the last 24 hours mostly resting if not sleeping. 

updating myself with a thing or two. 

and of course that missing plane is really awful.

hope everyone is safe and, most of all, alive. 

for the last two weeks, i have learned two things.

it is so easy for me to lose sight on the long term goal. 

it is so annoying that i easily shifted my focus on the little success,

and proceeding forward too cautiously, and with much worry. 

surely, it was not the plan. 

and the other thing is my english. 

of all things, i think my english has suffered the most since i moved back.

it is so difficult now to write anything in it. 

it always feels like the words are there,

but they are just far enough for me to recall them. 

i am not really sure how to cure both. 

perhaps writing this could help easing the problem.

at the very least, i wish i will not fall to the level of the english of the teenagers here.

otherwise it would seem just like a complete wipe off of all things i've done for the last 7 years or so. *sigh*