point of reference part 1

i hope that this post does not reflect any attempt of lamenting this life.
if it does, it is surely due to my lack of flair in writing. so, please interpret it in a more cheerful tone.
in fact this is somewhat my weak attempt in putting together many things i learned from school, including the school itself.

comparison, yes, we live strongly by that, don't we? at least i do. without realizing, success and failure are pretty much drawn out of our position among others.

for me, it started quite early.

i was a first grader. my first tri-semester result came out. guess what?
i did not make to the top ten of the class or anything like that.
for me it is not a big deal. i had no idea what is that anyway.
for my parents? honestly, i don't know.
my goal was to finish school as fast as possible and went back home.
bought my siomay (indonesian fish cake), and watched my daily tom and jerry.

school was never a place for competitions.
or, perhaps i was not competitive at all.

then, my school result took a significant leap during my primary three.
i broke into the elite group in my school.
ermm, well, at least the elite group in my class.
my name was up there in the blackboard, place reserved for the top three of the class.

straight away, a comparison was drawn to my brother.
he always topped the class. no, he always was always at the top of the batch in fact.
relatives started to label us as the smart family.
theories surfaced, some said it was in the blood.
my mother was brilliant at school too.
meanwhile, my father is one of those with brilliant mind and business acumen, a typical requirement you find at nowadays' jobs.
another theory would say that it was due to the strict and good way my parents grew us in.
a rod was like an ice cream. it's rare, but sure would be given when needed.

however, in hindsight, this sudden shoot to the top was not without a cause.
it started when i met this girl, who was seated together with me.

to manage your expectation, i'll let you know upfront that this would not be a love story or anything in that sort. it is a story of opportunity and early business education.

back to the meeting with this girl. okay, let's name her for simplicity sake, Teresa. yes, of course it is not a real name.

she introduced me to the sweetness of a glory.

she taught me how to cheat during exams.
i am not pushing all the blame to her, but sure she had some real contribution there.
and, i am pretty certain that my parents or my brother don't know about this.

the first tri-semester's result came out.
and of course like i said earlier, i was in the elite group now.
but, all this sort of glory, there was this uneasy feeling lingering.
yet, we didn't care.

second tri-semester came, and i broke into the top three again.
family started to think that the earlier result was not a fluke.

however, gosh, when i cheat, i really cheat.
i couldn't remember days when i really studied for exams in that grade.
i cheated in every single exam.
i was certainly the most successful cheaters in the class.
not even Teresa dared to cheat that much.
though, it was not a matter of skill during that year.
it was, in a business terms, pure risk-taking.

i aced anything that could be aced through papers.
and screwed the rest.
i was real bad at art; handicraft and music.
sport was hovering in the mediocrity, thanks to my plum body.
but who cared?! genius did not need to ace those anyway.

all went well for my school's life.
all was too well that i could not see the next thing coming.

after a lesson about Mother Teresa, the next morning the girl came to me.
she said "urm, i think i won't cheat in the exam anymore"
she continued just like the lesson the day before, "i don't want to sin anymore"

i was shocked. i remembered i didn't say a word.
and, that was how my first fishy business ended.
however, i still finished the grade as the top three, thanks to the first two tri-semesters.

my frequency of cheating decreased a lot, but i magically still got the result in the years to come.
like i said, i was in the elite by then.

i enjoyed the success all the way to my final year in the primary.
and, when the time came to decide where to go for my secondary school,
my parents suggested me to go to the one of the good schools in the neighborhood.
it was famous to produce brilliant kids.
the idea was that it was good to make use of my brain to compete among the elites.

by then, i was so comfortable being in the top three with very little of cheating.
funny how i evolved to emerge as the top talent,
yet with this new found confidence i was very ready for the fresh challenge.

it seemed like i already forgot on how i broke into the top three.
maybe, it was a case of "fake it till you become it".
without realizing, it was so important how my standing in the class now for me.

maybe it was for my parents' sake, or perhaps my own pride,
i finally ended going to that new school, "Penabur"