a wondering mind.. is it a healthy mind?

i haven't heard and read
those 4 irritating magical words for a while now.
for me it is irritating, but not for most people.
and some people, i know that they know those 4 words. lol =D

in the same silence last night,
ci feni was awake for the whole nite.
and
today i am wondering where is my old habit.
my old habit of thinking of myself becoming excel in this and that.
my old me, where are you?

i want to restore that kind of myself
but now not only thinking.
but also realising the thought.

and sir. to impress you is one of things i desire.
to make you proud of me.
and to make you always are thinking of me.
just like the great shepherd does...

tomorrow, i'll go for the last sow.
will be on time i think. gut nite